I was listening on the radio as the DJ’s began discussing friendship.
“Studies have shown that most people change friends approximately every 7 years.”
Every 7 years? That’s impossible. The friends I’ve had have been my friends for much longer than that. I continued listening.
“Your core friends that you have had since high school or college may remain the same, but every 7 years the really close friends change out.”
I wasn’t sure what to think of these “studies”. A lot of studies are put out there, but really, how accurate are they? Though, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense. Sure, I’m still friends with my girls from my school years, but we’re not close like we used to be. We went on different life paths. Life kept going, and we just went different directions. I wasn’t so devastated when those friends moved on with life, was I? So why is it so hard for me now?
I love her to death. We’ve had so many good times together. She’s my best friend. She was my best friend. I’ve been there for her through so many things. Through broken hearts, broken families, first vacations, camping trips, I’ve been there. And now. Now we have nothing to say to eachother. She no longer needs me. Or maybe it’s me that can no longer help her. Whatever it is, this is the hardest break up of my life.
I can feel the tension in our unspoken words. Our words are the same, but the meaning behind them is not. Perhaps it’s guilt. Perhaps it’s knowing it’s over. Perhaps it’s temporary. But it’s not. It’s been a long time coming, and the time is now. I think we both know, but I don’t think either of us want to accept it. Neither of us want to be the one to admit it’s time for us to move on.
The hardest break up of my life.
How does one break up with their best friend? What words do you use? What do you say? Part of me wants to tell her everything. Tell her everything I did. It’s so much easier to break up with someone when they’re upset with you. But I don’t want to make MY mistake hurt her. It’s not fair to hurt her because of MY guilt.
So what do I say?
Friend,
I will always love you to death. We have so many good memories together. We have had so many fun times. But I think we both know things are changing. That things have changed. This is killing me so much inside, even thinking these words. Know that no matter what, I will ALWAYS be there for you. Know that I will never forget you. Know that I will always consider you one of my bestest. Know that I love you. Know that I will never stop thinking of you. Know that I only want the best for you. Please know that. But I think we both know our friendship is holding us back. I think it’s time for us both to spread our wings and find out what else is out there in life. I feel we’ve both felt this coming for some time, but that we have both been afraid to admit our feelings, because change is scary. We are so similar in so many ways it is scary. And we are so different in so many ways too. You are, and always will be one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. But I think it’s time to move on. Be happy. Be joyful. Be loving. Be courageous. Be the woman I know that you are. Spread your wings. Spread them as far as they will reach. Soar. Soar above the clouds. Soar to the highest goals possible.
I love you dear friend. I’ll never forget you.
Your friend,
