The dream

The dream changed so quickly.

I was talking to my friend. I was falling in love. And then I heard a noise. I kept hearing noises from upstairs. I told myself they were nothing. Not to worry about them. Then I heard them again, I went to investigate.

All of a sudden I was in our old house. I walked out from the Master bedroom and down the hall. I looked over the banister into the open area of the basement. “whew” i thought “there is nothing above me, it will be ok”. I started to walk back to the room when i saw something. I looked back downstairs and saw the all too familiar leather jacket. I didn’t know what to do.

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here!” I said. He looked up. A disgusting hunger in his eyes. “I just came to get some things. I won’t be long”. I went back to the master bedroom to change my clothes to something less revealing. I was in my pajamas. I heard the door handle start to turn and yelled out “just a second”. It kept turning, so i stood next to it to hold it closed. His hand stopped me. I couldn’t get my pants up. I saw his head start to peek through the crack of the door. His eyes so hungry. His smile so disgusting.

I finish pulling up my pants as he walks into the room. He is in the walk in closet getting some things. I grab my laptop and try talking to my friends. “help me. Help me. Help me.” They don’t respond. They don’t believe me. “he’s here. Help me. He’s going to do it again. Help me please please help me.” Still, disbelief. Why won’t the believe me. Finally a response from the guy I was falling in love with at the beginning. He was confused. He was back in my life after years of being gone, and was now confused. “CALL 911 I NEED HELP. TELL THEM TO HELP ME!!!”

He did. He called 911 for me. And then he changed from the friend i was falling in love with, to the man who just broke my heart. “you have to help her. I don’t know her address. She’s not at the address i know for her”. They tell him there are 3 addresses for a mcdonnell in town. He’s not sure which to send them to. They read it again. “yes, that’s it. I remember her saying that one”. They get the right address just as he grabs me.

I break free. I try to run for the door. I try to run to my moms house. No, it wasn’t her house. I tried to run for her work. I couldn’t get the door unlocked. I couldn’t pick up the phone. He grabbed me again. His touch was so cold. It made me so sick. This couldn’t be happening again. Someone needs to help me.

Again i break free from his cold grasp. I run downstairs and try to open the front door. I fumble with the locks. Why is nothing working for me. Why is this happening again. I hear him yell after me that he wants to have ‘gay sex’ with me. I feel sick again. Then he tells me he’s going to ‘squirt it in me’.

The door unlocks. Finally, closer to freedom.

It was overcast outside. Not yet night. I ran for my uncles house, who lived across the street. I started screaming, but nobody could hear me. Where was everyone? I looked to my uncles house for a sign of someone hearing something. The house was dark. I picked up a stick to try to throw to break a window in the house, or hit a wall or door. He caught up with me and threw it at the neighbors house. It hit a wall.

Screaming and crying i kept fighting with him to break free from his grasp. And then it happened. I saw the door open. My uncle on the phone. He’s a cop. He can help. Tears running down my face, i break free from him again. I run to my uncle as he looks around the crescent. He doesn’t even see me, but i feel like i am safe under his wing. I hear him on the phone. He is talking to the police station. “number 66? No, there’s no house that ends in a 66 here”. NO!!!! I scream inside my head. NO!!!! IT’S A 67 NOT A 66 NO!!!!!

The police are sent back to headquarters, thinking nothing is wrong anymore. My uncle turns to walk back inside. I look up at him, the man chasing me. He has a look of victory on his face. I am forever his victim. He will always have control over me. He won again. He got what he wanted. He doesn’t touch me as we walk back to the house. I know what is going to happen, but no longer can I stop it. I succumb to him. I let him have what he wants. I am completely numb as the door closes behind us.

A bell rings and i wake with a start. What just happened? Why is this happening now? I thought the dreams about him were over. I don’t want them to come back.